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I Love My Mom

by Indigo De Souza

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1.
This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed Did you say anything on the night of my first hit On the night of my first kiss On the night of my first runaway Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb And I have never gone so numb And I have never been so late before This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed Ah, come when you're called If this is all we've got to work with then it's all we've got to blame Ah, come when you're called If this is all we've got to work with then it's all we've got to say I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this hot morning I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this kooky morning I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm I’m the way This is probably how I get myself killed
2.
When am I gonna get out of bed Like everybody else does, everybody else does When am I gonna get a better head Like everybody else does, everybody else does When am I gonna go back to school Like everybody else does, everybody else does When am I gonna start being cool Like everybody else is, everybody else is Now that everyone's gone I can tell you the truth I don't love you, I like you Now that everyone's gone, I can tell you it hurts Honey I am just like you When am I gonna find a better man Like everybody else does, everybody else does When am I gonna follow through with my plans Like everybody else does, everybody else does When am I gonna find a better man Like everybody else does, everybody else does When are you gonna TAKE OFF UR PANTS Like everybody else does, everybody else does Now that everyone's gone I can tell you the truth I don't love you, I like you Now that everyone's gone, I can tell you it hurts Honey I am just like you
3.
Good Heart 02:40
Dawn breaks overhead I'm not the girl you thought I was, but I am close (close enough) Was it something that I said Is it the way I stood so still and never moved Now every dirty dish is in a mood, and so are you He's not on our side, but I could save you if you'd like Just let me in there, past that high chair And I will dwell in every crane I see, the holo pleasures spoke to me Like someone's gonna preach once I am gone I want to believe that you've got a good heart I want to believe that you’ve got a good heart Oh I want to believe that you've got a good heart Oh I want to believe that you've got a good heart Oh I want to believe in some things I happen to read on the inside of fortune cookies, I want to say no when I'm offered a hit and it ruins my weekend I'm nothing but trouble, watching you sleep Brushing your teeth and laughing at me I'm nothing but trouble, baby believe in me
4.
Smoke 03:13
Leaning in to hear you talk And craning heads always walk And I'm back again Listening to angels sing From the ground up Listening to angels sing For you And would you go If I were blind Sweetheart, you don't Cause if you tell me so I know that, I know that, I know it must be true Cause if you tell me so I know that, I know that, I know it must be true I let you in And you let me down And then someone else Went up in smoke
5.
When we were walking out to that vacant house I kept my blood in my gut, I kept my tongue in my mouth We're going cause we’re not quite dead But darling, you're sick in the head And there was no one home in that plastic box In that widow's womb with the childproof locks oh it’s not ours to see But it was no one's to keep Since then our bodies have warped and bent And now we are gray I go back to that house sometimes To say what I need to say Our bodies are warped and bent And now we are blue I go back to that house sometimes Hoping I’ll run into you When we were calling out to that man of men I said we need you now Like we did back then We're going cause we're too damn old And nothing's making sense anymore And now that house is gone There's a golden lawn And there's a silver spoon Someone’s been choking on Oh, it’s not our's to say But darlin’ it’s dark in this den Since then our bodies have warped and bent And now we are gray I go back to that house sometimes To see what I need to say Our bodies have warped and bent And now are blue I go back to that house sometimes Hoping I’ll run into you
6.
What are we gonna do now What are we gonna do, baby Saw you sleeping outside with a red nose Saw you sleeping in bed with your day clothes on What are we gonna do now What are we gonna do, sweetheart You still haven't cleaned the kitchen And we're still on hold with the nurses When we gonna wake up In some cubicle cell with our shirts tucked I'll be the one I'll be the one to deliver the news I know you’re worn, you’re exhausted This is love This is lost on you I’m holding my night in your hands And there's nothing like trying I'm so loud in the mornings And I'm never cooking up what you're craving I'm never cooking up what you're craving Oh my darling Just this once won't ya Hold me close and Tell me I'm all that you need Oooooo I'm never cooking up what you're craving I'm never cooking up what you're craving What are we gonna do now What are we gonna do, sweetheart Sleeping outside with a red nose Sleeping in bed with our day clothes on When are we gonna wake up In some cubicle cell with our shirts still tucked I'll be the one I'll be the one to deliver the news
7.
Home Team 03:23
Don't you blame me if I get carried away I don't like fucking boys who need to know what to say When there's silence in the room We're all pining for that modern day man He's really a star, got the crowd going wild in the stands On a Saturday night, at the home field I won't feel anything when you leave me for dead I won't do anything, like that hole in your goddamn head I knew I was ready to stop going steady When the home team was losing twenty to one I don't really give a shit about the score on the scoreboard Please Lord, please Lord, please Lord Don't you blame me if I don't answer my phone I don't like fucking boys who need to know what to do When there's no one else home We're all pining for that modern day girl She's really a star, got the crowd just jumping for joy On a Saturday night, at the home field I won't feel anything when you leave me for dead I won't do anything, like that hole in your goddamn head I knew I was ready to stop going steady When the home team was losing twenty to one I don't really give a shit about the score on the scoreboard Please lord, please lord, please lord I don't wanna talk about love I don't wanna talk about us I don't wanna sit at the kitchen table You talk and I listen To the news on the cable tv
8.
Ghost 04:11
You are not as important as you think you are As you thought you were You are not as funny as you think you are As I let you feel And if you ghost on me again These tits will ghost on you forever I am not as lonely as I think I am As I feel right now I, I just don't need you Like I thought I did In your arms at night And if you ghost on me again These tits will ghost on you forever I don’t need anyone to love me I love my mom more than any of you fools I don't need anyone to love me I love my Thom more than than driving away from a party After everything's over and everyone’s gone And the gods are still looking on And if you ghost on me again These tits will ghost on your forever And I like sleeping in your bed But honey I've got my own at home
9.
Honey I miss you But I don't need to see you I'm jealous of those other girls But I don't need to keep you I'm full I'm full And I cannot take no more I'm full, I'm full And I mean it Sun just don’t rise up for me, this time Sun just don't rise up for us tonight Honey I love you, but I don't need to have you There's nothing like crawling Through the dark room In the rear view The sun just don’t rise up for me, this time Sun just won't rise up for us tonight And I'm sorry, I'm sorry I got angry when you got sad I'm sorry, I'm sorry I cannot take it back I'm sorry, I'm sorry I got angry when you got sad I'm sorry, I'm sorry The sun just won't rise up for me, this time Sun just won't rise up for us tonight
10.
I had to get out My body couldn't weather the drought And if I could’ve stayed You wouldn't see me this way But we don't always get what we want I thought I was patient Waiting for the seasons to change But nobody else in this bible belt Was standing quite still enough for me Why, Why must everything happen at once? I’m waking, I'm rising, I'm moving In sync with the sun And I always do I had to get out My skin was losing its shine And if I could've stayed You wouldn't see me this way But I'm young and I don't know what I want Why, Why must everything happen at once? I’m waking, I’m rising, I'm moving In sync with the sun And I always do I know that I’m heavy And I'm sorry for crushing you, darling I know that I'm heavy And I'm sorry for crushing you Like I always do Like I always do Like I always do

about

Indigo De Souza’s I Love My Mom, her debut LP initially released in 2018, is a collection of the best songs she’d written in the few years that preceded it, recorded quickly and breathlessly and thrown out into the world. Consisting of ten songs, the album feels both raw and unabashed. Indigo pulled a band together for the first time, and was quickly encouraged to commit her songs to tape. Recorded at her friend’s house, they played almost everything live in just a few days, and released the record naturally, with little fanfare. That the record quickly took on a life of its own, deeply resonating with those who heard it, is a testament to Indigo’s songwriting. On June 11th, I Love My Mom gets the full release it deserves - pressed to vinyl for the first time, ahead of a brand new LP a little further down the road.

credits

released June 8, 2018

All songs written by Indigo De Souza, except track 2 written by Indigo De Souza, Owen Stone and Jake Lenderman and track 7 written by Indigo De Souza and Emily Costantino.
Produced by Indigo De Souza, Owen Stone, and Jake Lenderman
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Colin Miller
Cover artwork by Kimberly Oberhammer
Indigo De Souza - lead vocals, guitar, keys
Owen Stone - bass, guitar, keys
Jake Lenderman - drums, guitar.

for u from us w/TLC
love love love xoxo

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Indigo De Souza North Carolina

Indigo De Souza is a multifaceted artist based in Asheville, North Carolina.

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